Category Archives: Mankind's Doom

Lamb Roast: Mankind’s Doom

The Onion reports that “Government advisers are developing menus to combat climate change by cutting out ‘high carbon’ food such as meat from sheep, whose burping poses a serious threat to the environment.”

Oh, wait — that article was actually in the Times of London. It isn’t satire. At least, not intentionally.

(Hat tip to Drudge)

(Cross-posted at Open Market)

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Black Cars: Mankind’s Doom

California is mulling banning black cars because they require more energy to keep cool.

The New Religion continues its post-reductio phase.

Soft Toilet Paper: Mankind’s Doom

Soft toilet paper is bad for our forests, says the New York Times:

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council.

Don Boudreaux points out, “It’s ironic, is it not, that this report appears in a newspaper?”

I swear, these people are their own reductio ad absurdum.

Peanuts: EVERYBODY PANIC

Salmonella-contaminated peanut products have caused quite the uproar of late. 6 people have died. 486 have gotten sick at latest count.

Will I get sick? Let’s calculate the odds. U.S. population is currently about 300 million people. Odds of death? 1 in 50,000,000.

Let’s assume 600 people get sick before the outbreak ends. Odds of illness? 1 in 500,000.

Pardon me while I continue to enjoy delicious peanut-based snacks.

Orange Juice: Mankind’s Doom

The New York Times asks, apparently without irony, “How much does your morning glass of orange juice contribute to global warming?”

I’m supposed to feel bad about drinking orange juice now? Really? Even Catholic guilt has nothing on the New Religion.

Parking Spaces: Mankind’s Doom

Madison, WI wants to reduce the number of parking spaces and garages in the city. The aim is to discourage people from using their cars, which cause global warming.

Madison is well known for being a profoundly religious city. This report (pdf) is full of ideas to compel citizens to practice the new faith.

Google Searches: Mankind’s Doom

An environmental activist frets that using Google’s search engine increases greenhouse gas emissions.

One more item to catalogue from the New Religion’s post-reductio phase.