Britons sure do seem to have a lot of time on their hands. Take, for example, the colorfully-named pastime of dwile flonking. Players soak a rag in beer and put it on top of a pole. Then they use the pole to hurl the rag at other players.
A player who misses twice in a row is called a “flonker.” Flonkers are required to drink a beer before the opposing team can pass the errant rag all the way around him in a circle.
This year’s dwile flonking world championship was to be held in Norfolk. Then regulators got involved. As one can tell by the rules, dwile flonking is a drinking game. And drinking games are forbidden now. Legislation passed earlier this year banning them.
The American journalist H.L. Mencken defined Puritanism as “The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” He may as well have been talking about regulators.
And thanks to the new Puritanism, we may never know who the world’s top dwile flonkers are.
Normally, I don’t really mind regulation, but this gets my goat. We should bring the game to America and continue its proud history.
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“And drinking games are forbidden now.”
Next year expect to see a Parliamentary inquiry into the reasons behind an upsurge of overseas enrollments among British college students.
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